


Guilty as Charged

by FixOrRideDaily



Series: Until Proven Guilty [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Artistic License, Because Josh, Bisexuality, Everybody Lives, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Josh Lives, Legal Drama, Mental Health Issues, Multi, No Wendigo Josh, Post-Game(s), Recreational Drug Use, like a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:05:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6471025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixOrRideDaily/pseuds/FixOrRideDaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joshua Washington is on trial and three of his friends will take the stand against him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Samantha takes the Stand

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorta a "what it says on the tin" kinda writer. Josh is on trial for what he did and Sam, Ashley and Chris will each take the stand in the criminal case against him.
> 
> Perhaps this has been done, but I haven't seen it.
> 
> A few things. I took some artistic liberties with legal proceedings here and there because the story is more about the characters than the law and my law class was a very long time ago at this point. Also I implore you to please finish the story before judging Josh and what I've done with him here. I HAVE a plan. Promise. 
> 
> I had to give the characters last names too because there was no way around that.
> 
> So I love the ambiguity of Josh and Sam's relationship in the game and this is just ONE interpretation of that, the one that worked best for this story. Also Sam has two mommys because she does. She calls them both mom, but I labeled them as mother Molly and mother Jane to avoid confusion.

Sam could count on one hand the number of times she had been forced to dress up in what her mother Molly referred to as her bank clothes. 'Cause this is how you should dress for a meeting at the bank.' She wished her or her mother Jane could be there with her. She was sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench in some backroom of the courthouse with Chris and Ashley, a prime witness in the trial against Joshua Washington. She wished Ashley would stop jiggling her legs next to her and she wished that Chris would stop making angry sighs every time a new annoying thought entered into his mind, which seemed to be quite often. Or maybe she just simply wished she wasn't there at all.

In the end she wasn't sure what it was that had convinced her to testify against Josh. Did she think it was her civic duty? Did she feel a sense of moral obligation? Did she think he wouldn’t get the help he needed otherwise? Did she feel like he needed to be punished for what he had put them all through? No, she was sure it wasn't that last one. It felt like a a stab in the back no matter the reason was. To the boy she had known since middle school with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, to the girl with whom she had shared every secret and special milestone since they were paired up together in their seventh grade gym class, to the other girl she had grown close to over the years as well and even cried to when she lost her virginity to a boy she knew her best friend liked. Not to even consider the parents that counted her as one of their own after all these years.

She looked over at Chris, his hand was resting on Ashley's knee to calm her movements and his eyes were focused on the ceiling above their heads. She wondered if he was feeling what she was. If his own head was spinning the way hers was. The two of them had shared so much time together as the unofficial Washington tag-alongs. Now they were going to send their only son and last child left to prison after they had essentially killed both of their daughters.

Betrayal thy name is Samantha.

The first time Hannah had brought Sam over to the mansion for a sleepover, she had recognized the girl's older brother Josh immediately. He had put on a whole show for the cafeteria the first day of classes, Chris at his feet playing music from an old boombox and recording it on his phone. She had asked Hannah why her older brother was in their grade at school. Hannah told her he had to do kindergarten twice because his teacher felt he wasn't ready to move up a grade at the time.

She didn't have much more interaction with the boy then since he was in a foul mood and spent the rest of the day in his own room while she spent it reading magazines, playing games and watching movies with the two Washington sisters. She tried to force him out of her mind.

She had been wandering back from the bathroom late that night when she spotted him again. Both Hannah and Beth had fallen asleep in the living room. He was outside in the yard and he seemed concentrated on a burning pile on the walkway. He was also muttering to himself. He used a sharpie to write something on his arm. She wanted to go out there and get a closer look at what he was doing. She realized far too late in life that was always her problem when it came to Josh. He was a train barreling down the tracks and instead of running the other direction she always wanted to get closer.

Her feet hit the cold stone of the walkway and the door clicked shut. He didn't notice the sound as she crept ever so quietly towards him. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself seeking out protection. From his judgment of course, the L.A. air wasn't the least bit cold this time of year. She padded closer, and got just close enough to see that he was in fact burning a large number of baseball cards. She didn't know too much about them herself, but he seemed to have quite an impressive collection. Then as if the nature of what she was doing just hit her she suddenly turned on heel and raced back into the house.

She never told Hannah about it. She didn't find out until much later when Josh was drunk at a Christmas party that he had known she had been there either. He had turned around and caught a glimpse of her blond hair rushing back inside. She asked why he hadn't asked her about it the next day back then if that was the case. He countered by saying probably the same reason she hadn't asked him.

"Who do you think they'll call on first?" Ashley asked timidly bringing Sam back to the present.

"Who knows? And who cares? Besides we aren't supposed to discuss the case," Chris said a little too fast for anyone's comfort. Ashley turned towards Sam with a tiny smile on her face. Sam returned it and leaned forward to straighten her friend's skirt. 

“It's gonna be okay Ash,” she said, though her voice gave her away, “We just have to go in there and tell them the truth. No big deal.”

“Right.” Ashley nodded, but her eyes said, 'Wrong Sam, this is a huge deal. Probably one of the biggest in our entire lives.' Before Sam could reassure her anymore however the bailiff entered the room and looked over the group of three. They all turned their attention his way and held their breath collectively. He scanned them quickly.

“Samantha Giddings, you are needed in the courtroom,” he said. Sam braced herself as she heard Chris and Ashley release their air in relief. She stood up tall and followed the man through the doors sparing only one last quick glance back at her two friends. Ashley mouthed “good luck,” and Chris gave a pathetic little thumbs-up. Josh was the one on trial so Sam couldn't figure out why she felt like she was the one marching down death-row.

\---

He looked thinner than she remembered him being sitting there in the defendant's box next to his lawyer. Melinda Washington sat right behind him trying to keep her composure. Bob Washington, she noticed, had not shown up. Sam felt sad for him then, knowing his father hadn't even come to his court hearing but she had to pushed that aside. Both of her mothers were among the many people in the courthouse and for that she was grateful. They sat close together holding hands tightly. She knew they worried for her, especially after what happened with Hannah and Beth last winter. She noticed both Mike and Matt sitting not too far away from them. Mike kept his focus squarely on her while Matt's eyes shifted all around the room as if he was back at the lodge caught between his ex-best friend and his new girlfriend. Speaking of there was no sign of either Jess or Emily anywhere in the building. She couldn't say she was surprised by that. Jess barely left the house these days and Emily was almost always by her side. Their renewed friendship may be one of the only good things that came out of this whole terrible ordeal.

She swore to tell nothing but the truth and was sat next to the judge. The prosecuting lawyer asked her to tell the court her full name, occupation and relationship to the defendant for the record. Her throat went dry at that. She scanned the audience and found Mike. He looked back at her unblinkingly and raised a fist in solidarity. She wasn't sure why, but it helped. She swallowed and spoke up.

“My name is Samantha Giddings and I am currently a university student taking a leave of absence.”

“And your relationship to the defendant?”

“We're- we're friends.” She felt the heat on her face that meant she was blushing. Suddenly she was very aware of all the people in the room. She glanced at Josh, crossing her legs involuntarily when she did. Friends don't do the types of things she had done with him in the dark over the last year.

“I see. And it was the defendant who invited you up to the Washington ski lodge this passed February second for the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“And what exactly did the defendant say when he invited you on this trip?”

“He said,” Sam breathed in deeply, she remembered it all too well, “that we never hang out anymore. You know all of us, as a group. He hadn't even seen Chris that much in months. That the anniversary of his sisters' disappearance was only a few months away and we should all do something together. In-in their memory.”

“He told you this in private?”

“Yes,” she answered trying to keep her focus on the lawyer, trying not to think of what he had been doing to her prior to him sharing this little plan of his with her.

“And when did he first express this to you?”

“It was the first week of October.” Josh's favorite month of the year. It was hers too, in fact.

“And then the defendant sent out invitations to you and your close group of friends later that year?”

“Yes, he sent us all video invitations in early December.” she could feel Mike's eyes on her, never leaving her face, even as the prosecuting lawyer showed said video to the court to enter it into evidence. She watched it for what was probably the hundredth time and remembered all the uneasy feelings it had put in her. She cursed herself. The circles under his eyes, his forced way of speaking, his sluggish movement. How could she not see something was wrong? How could she have been foolish enough to think he was getting better? Just because of the time they were spending together? Who did she think she was, anyway? Jesus fucking Christ?!?

“Now, Miss Giddings if it isn't too painful could you please share with us the events as they transpired that night after arriving at the Washington Lodge.”

Except for the part about the Wendigos he added non-verbally. Sam had gone over the information with the lawyer several times already. She knew exactly where her story was meant to end. What she was meant to say. No supernatural junk, just condemn one of the most important people in your life to a prison sentence. No big deal. Ashley was right. This was one of the biggest deals in her life.

“Well, the trip had been long and I felt like I needed a bath. So after Josh and I got the hot water going I went upstairs to run the water. It took a while to fill up the tub so I lit some candles around the room since the power was off around the house. So I was in the bath with my headphones in when I heard a loud bang outside the bathroom door. I got out of the tub and wrapped myself in a towel but my clothes had been taken. I thought my friends might be playing a joke on me, we do that sort of thing from time to time. So I went downstairs to look for them. My friends, not my clothes. They weren't on the ground level so I went down into the cinema room and the doors slammed shut behind me. I heard a voice over the speaker asking me, asking me if I was looking for him. He told me he had something to show me.”

She swallowed hard here, everything up until now had been the easy part of the story. Now she had to tell the hard stuff. The chase, the basement, the video...

“What did he show you?” the lawyer encouraged.

“He showed me a video on the movie screen of me in...in the bathtub upstairs while I was bathing. He asked me if I thought I knew that those were my last happy moments.” She would give anything in the world to take those looks of both of her mothers' faces right now. 

“Is that all he showed you?” he was pushing again.

“No, he also showed me a video of Josh being sawed in half by this huge saw blade. He wanted to know how it made me feel to see it.” She changed her mind the look of Mrs. Washington's face right now is what she'd trade anything to wipe away. She had one child left and to be put through all this over him. To hear all this about him. Sam put her hand over her mouth, she felt sick. She searched out Mike's eyes in the crowd. She found them still intensely focused on her.

“What happened next, Miss Giddings?” God, she hated this man.

“A man in a mask and overalls came through the doors. He was carrying this gas tank and mask and I didn't know what was inside of it. He said I had ten seconds so I ran. I ran into the basement to get away from him. He followed me. I managed to lock him behind a door and find a place to hide in this old ruined hotel under the lodge. Then I crawled away through a vent.” And it had been Josh. She had tried so many times to separate the two in her mind and she just couldn't. It had been him who chased her and said he could smell her fear. It had been him who had called out her name so sickeningly. Josh, who had whispered “Here little kitty. Here pussy, pussy.” so perversely out to her.

She should have known then that it was him. He called her that before. When they were alone and he was doing things to her she couldn't believe she allowed anyone to do, let alone her dead best friend's brother. But Josh could be so persuasive and Sam could be so gullible. It wasn't the best combination.

“Where did you go after this?” Right, she had a testimony to finish.

“I found my way to this back room where there was all this stuff. Pictures of Hannah and Beth. A medical report on Josh and some texts from his doctor. There was a dummy wearing my clothes too. I also found my backpack. I ran into Mike who had been wandering through these tunnels from the Sanatorium I guess. After I let him out of this locked room and got dressed, we heard someone crying. We rushed into the next room to find our friends Chris and Ashley tied down to these chairs. There were these saws over their heads and the guy walked in. The guy with the mask and the overalls. Chris tried to shoot him, but the gun he had was full of blanks.”

“And what happened next?”

“He took off his mask.” She remembered it so clearly. She didn't even feel angry, just hurt. And stupid. God had she felt stupid.

“And is the man who you saw under the mask in the courtroom today?”

“Yes, he is.”

“Would you please identify him for us?”

“It,” she sighed gently, “it was Josh. Josh Washington.”

“Let the record show that the witness has identified the defendant. One last questions Miss Giddings did you at any point during this ordeal fear for your own life or safety?”

“Yes, I thought I was going to die.” And I thought that I had lost Josh forever just like I lost Hannah and Beth last year she almost cried out.

“No further questions, your honor.” They may have been on the same side technically, but Sam really hated that smug look on the man's face when he walked away from her. She was just starting to breath normally again when she saw Josh's lawyer rise and the words “cross-examination” filtered into her brain. She had been warned about this ahead of time, but in the moment she had temporarily forgot. She steeled herself and straightened her back. She could handle whatever he had to say to her.

“Miss, what exactly did you say your relationship to my client was again?”

She was taken aback by that, “I told you we're friends.”

“Miss Giddings, you do understand that it is a federal crime to lie under oath?”

“I'm not lying. We've been friends since I met his sister Hannah in seventh grade.”

“I see. And when did you begin having sexual relations with my client?”

Oh.

“Objection! Relevance?”

“I think it's fair to request the court know all the details about this witness' relationship to the defendant if we are meant to take her testimony into account?”

For the first time since the trial began Sam stared directly at Josh. He met her gaze unflinchingly. She couldn't believe it. Yet she knew she shouldn't be surprised. In what world would acidic and sliver tongued Joshua Washington go down without a fight? If her heart wasn't already so broken she knew she'd be able to feel it shattering. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he and his lawyer had in store for Chris and Ashley. Hell this was probably only the tip of the iceberg for her own testimony. She wanted to rush into the back and warn her friends. There was no way she could though. The witness' were banned from talking about the case with one another. She had a good idea why now too.

“Miss Giddings,” the judge said. Sam looked up at her, “Please answer Mr. White's question.”

Sam nodded and turned back to the lawyer. She cracked her neck. She wasn't going down so easily.

“July,” she said curtly. She didn't dare look at her parents. She didn't want to know what they thought of this development. 

“And were the two of you involved all the way up until this passed February?”

“No.”

“Oh no, when exactly did the two of you call things off?”

“November.” She knew where this was leading. She had to keep her head, and she had to stay focused. Don't freak out and don't crack. That's exactly what he wants you to do right now, Sam.

“And which of you ended things?”

“Josh did. Because he didn't feel ready to commit to someone, just yet.”

“I see. I'm sure that was very painful for you.” It had been extremely hard for her. She had cried a lot. She wasn't about to let him know that though.

“Josh's health was way more important. I could never have abandoned him in his time of need. We were always friends before we were anything else.” She meant that. She really did.

“Objection! The witness' feelings about the defendant do not change the events that occurred that night, your honor.”

“Agreed, unless you have a point Mr. White, I suggest you move on.”

Sam knew the point. She glanced over at the jury and knew the seed was planted. He was trying to paint her as some vengeful ex-lover trying to smear Josh's name. There was no way Josh was getting a not guilty verdict at this point the only thing his lawyer could hope to do was lessen the sentence. What better way to do that then drum up the sympathy? In order to do that he had to make all the rest of them look less sympathetic in comparison. He had a good angle for her apparently.

“Alright then, Miss Giddings,” Josh's lawyer continued, “Do you recall the state of the Washington lodge when you and your friends were picked up by the park ranger service?”

What if she said no?

“Yes, I do.”

“Would you please describe it for the jury?” Round two.

“It was in mostly ruins. It was burning to the ground.” The image of it was etched into her mind forever. The fear she felt surging through her as those monsters went for her back and the adrenaline push coursing in her veins as she flipped the light switch. She'd never feel anything like it again. She was absolutely sure of that.

“How did it end up in that state exactly?”

She had to chose her words carefully here. No one had believed them about the monsters in the mines and eventually they had all chosen to keep it to themselves. At least for the time being. They'd think she was crazy if she brought it up now. He was hoping she would bring it up now. Or maybe he was hoping she wouldn't. She was going to look bad either way.

“We were all on edge. We had been through so much already that night. We were scared and we had been separated so many times. Some...something was in the house. It was after us. We thought it had killed Jessica, Matt and Josh already. It knocked the gas pipe loose. It was a tense situation. Mike and I didn't know what else to do. We wanted to keep everyone safe. So he broke a bulb and I flipped the light switch and blew up the lodge to kill whatever it was after everyone else got out.”

“Right? These supposed 'monsters' you and your friends told the police about?”

“We were under a lot of pressure, okay? We were panicked! We were traumatized! We were confused!” She was lying on the stand now, she had never been more sure about any decision in her life then she had been the moment she flipped that switch and killed the monster that had once been her best friend.

“And that's why you blew up the lodge? Because you were confused?”

“No.”

“Then why did you blow it up, exactly?”

“I told you, already. To kill whatever was after us. The thing we thought had killed our friends.”

“And what was this thing again, Miss Giddings?”

“I don't know.” She couldn't say it. Not only had she not spoken it's name out loud once since that night she knew she'd look like a crazy person if she did.

“You and your friends told the police it was a monster. A creature from old Native American folk tales. A Wendigo, am I correct?”

“Yes, that's what we told the police.” Her voice was quiet. She was trapped.

“No further questions, your honor.”

Sam could see from the way the jury was looking at her that he had indeed made his point. Scorned lover, destroyed property, supernatural creatures. She was sure she looked like quite the winner in their eyes. She wanted to puke right about then.

She also really wanted to hate Josh, and was upset to find that still after all this she didn't.

\---

Sam's mothers met her in the court hall as a quick recess was called. They cooed over her like she was still small. Her mother Molly stroked her arm while her mother Jane paced nervously. She breathed deeply. She wished she was still little enough to ask her moms to hold her while she cried.

She knew neither of them were going to bring up the Wendigos. Sam along with the rest of her friends had assured all their parents weeks ago in the hospital that it had probably just been a fever dream or something like it brought on from all the trauma. That was something Emily and Jess had overheard the doctors talking about and the group just went along with it to keep things simple. They agreed with the hospital staff that somehow they had all had the same fear induced hallucination that also somehow managed to leave certain marks on them none of the medical staff could logically explain away. Including Matt and Jessica who had been on the other side of the mountain for most of the night.

“Those no good lawboys. How dare they treat our girl that way!” her mother Jane was saying.

“They were just doing their job, love,” her mother Molly answered, “And Samantha was wonderful up there. You were a fine witness and I think you told your side of the story well.”

“I only hope that Washington boy gets what's coming to him. What's he thinking? Filming a girl in the bathtub and chasing her around like that? I always told you Bob and Melinda let that boy get away with too much. He thinks he can do whatever he wants to anybody. Entitled little shit that he is.” Her mother Jane rubbed her temples and then stomped off, “Watch my purse. I'm going to the ladies room.”

Sam saw the way her mother Molly had tensed when her mother Jane had spoken. A knowing look passed between them. She felt the question coming before her mother even asked it.

“Were you ever going to tell us, baby? About Josh?”

“There was nothing to tell. We'd hang out, we'd talk, we'd fool around and we'd go our separate ways. It's not like he was my boyfriend or anything.” Except, he almost kinda was.

“I see. So should I just assume you did everything safely then?” This was certainly not the type of conversation she pictured herself having today.

“Yes, you should.” 

“Would you like us all to head home? I'm sure today's already been very long for you.”

She really wanted to say yes. She could use a long shower and an even longer nap after some of her mother Jane's vegan lasagna. She spotted Mike and Matt hanging out near the doors of the court room and knew she couldn't though.

“I have to stay mom. For Chris and Ash.” Her mother Molly followed her gaze and nodded her head.

“I understand. Go be with your friends.”

Sam hugged her tight and went off to join Mike and Matt as they reentered the court room. She spotted Chris' mom and step-dad as well as Ashley's father and older sister as she wandered in behind the guys. She gave them all a little wave. She caught up with the two of them just as they sat down. She saw her two moms entering at the back of the crowd. 

“Hey Mike, Hey Matt,” she said giving them each a hug in turn. 

“Hey,” they greeted almost in unison.

“Good job up there, Sam,” Matt reassured her. She smiled at the pure warmth of him. 

“Yeah too bad the dickhead's lawyer wouldn't stop laying into ya,” Mike added.

“It's his job Mike,” Matt reasoned. She hoped in that moment that he would never change.

Sam noted that this conversation was sounding familiar already as she settled between them. She could tell that they both wanted to ask her about her newly revealed scandalous relationship but thankfully had the decency not to. Everyone involved with the proceedings was piling back in now. Sam felt her hand start to shake at the sight of Josh. Mike took it in his own two hands, a few digits short of a full set these days. She smiled at him for it then looked at Matt. He was looking worryingly at Josh. Soon the prosecuting lawyer was calling another witness to the stand. A few moments later Ashley in her white dress and blue sweater entered the courtroom. Sam squeezed Mike's hands just a little tighter.


	2. Ashley takes the Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley takes the stand next and doesn't handle it well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect chapters of this to come out fairly close together because this story is pretty much finished (the ending is almost done as of writing this).
> 
> This has not been beta-read as I don't know any willing parties at this time. So mistakes as all mine.
> 
> Ashley is not good girl sweet perfect innocent little thing in this because I don't think that is true to her character. I tried to find a middle ground between that version and anxious hypocritical bitch because that seems like Ashley to me.
> 
> Also I think she and Josh are close friends based on the fact that they tie for each others' second highest starting relationship. (According to those meters Josh is as close to Ashley as he is Sam and vice versa!). They also spend a lot of time together in game (yes Chris is also there, but they still spend more time together in game than Matt & Ashley and Mike & Josh. And people except those friendships as being good ones.) So be prepared for that.
> 
> Chris features heavily in this because I feel like Ashley's relationship with Josh is tied to him just like Sam's relationship with Josh was tied to Hannah. Chris will probably be the only person who's relationship to Josh doesn't feature someone else.

With Sam gone it was just her and Chris left in the back witness room. Ashley found nothing wrong with that though. The two of them spent much of their time alone together. Though it was usually a lot more comfortable than this was for a variety of different reasons. She knew he had his hand on her knee to help calm down her nervous jitters, but she kinda wanted him to move it. It was doing things to her she felt weren't appropriate for the courthouse setting. 

Though at the very least the sudden influx of dirty thoughts about Chris distracted her momentarily from all the guilty thoughts about Josh that buzzed in and out of her brain at a rapid pace. She had thought about smoking a bowl before the trial that morning to soothe her anxiety, even went as far as to consider asking Chris if he wanted to hit one with her, but that wouldn't have been a good idea. Her paranoia made her think they'd test them when they arrived or smell it on them and then they'd be in even worse trouble than she already felt like they were in.

Somehow that felt like it would have made all of this even more of a treason to Josh as well. Years ago at the Washington mansion she had wandered down to the basement lounge hoping to get a reprieve from the party of strangers. The billionaire boy who invited her here was nowhere to be seen, and neither was the lab partner with whom she had shown up. She knew Matt from back in grade school, but his tongue was halfway down the throat of some girl from her English class so that was a no go. She hadn't expected to stumble upon both guys down there. Josh had given her a smirk from the couch with Chris kneeling across from him concentrated on the coffee table between them. Ashley would have recognize the herb being pinched in his long fingers anywhere.

"Hey, there you are. Yo red, you blaze?" Josh had asked picking up one of the already completed joints and holding it up to her.

"Oh god, yes!" She must have sounded pathetic and desperate but her social anxiety was getting the best of her. The whole school must have been at this thing. She couldn't stand it and wanted to relax for a minute. She walked forward with purpose and took what he offered putting it in her braces filled mouth with the practiced touch of someone who had done this before. Chris looked between them with his task complete. He was confused and surprised to find Ashley had joined them. His ears turned red.

"Light the lady up, Cochise," Josh had said sticking a joint between his own lips and lighting it with a fancy looking purple lighter before he passed it on to Chris. Chris leaned forward and lit her joint for her (fumbling twice) before moving on to his own. The three of them had ended up blissfully stoned and sprawled out along the couch. Josh was lazily braiding sections of her hair, his head high up on her stomach and his legs spread out across Chris' lap, who was chuckling softly at the story she told them.

Josh always got super cuddly when he was high. The ritual had become at least a twice weekly thing for the three of them to do in Josh's basement. The disco lights would be dancing on the ceiling and jazz music floated in the air. Soon she became one of the regulars at the Washington Mansion. Josh said that he liked picking her brain and that she was one of the only people who bit back when he gave out backhanded compliments (“You really make the I-haven't-washed-my-greasy-bedhead-in-four-days wanna-be bohemian look work for you, Ashley” “Thanks a lot Josh, I'll remember to call you if I wanna start going for 'creepy drama loser who isn't quite exotic looking enough to be sexy' instead”). Chris also said it was nice to finally have someone around who actually understood all the references on his nerdy t-shirts (her favorite was his Schrodinger’s cat one) and that he liked how she laughed the loudest out of everybody at his jokes (a lot of times she was the only one who laughed as his jokes).

They were the first two of her new friends she invited over to her place to hang out. She went on to destroy them both at Mortal Kombat (a surprising pick from her which they each appreciated for different reasons) and they retaliated by pelting her with couch pillows. Ashley always considered herself to be a mature person, but something about her boys made her want to cut lose and have fun. It was probably why her older sister Natasha had given them all a weird look when she walked in to find Josh holding her down by her arms and legs while Chris blew raspberries into her neck and face.

It was two more months after this that half the school was convinced she was dating Chris. 'No two people have that much homework.' 'Do you see the way they look at each other?' 'Nobody thinks Chris is that funny.' The other half would argue that she was clearly dating Josh. 'I mean he took her to the homecoming dance.' 'She wears his hoodie, like every day.' 'Josh slapped her ass in gym last period.'

When asked which she was seeing, Chris or Josh, her favorite answer was to simply say "Both" and smile widely while walking away because she knew that Chris would deny it and that Josh would confirm it. But there was no point to making it a thing. They were her boys and that was what mattered. As far as Ashley was concerned romance had no part to play in that.

She was lying to herself and the truth came out eventually. 

Josh appreciated creative endeavors. He and Ashley often worked on the school's plays together. Ashley worked on writing and editing for the chosen scripts or short scenes and Josh was of course a great director in the making. So they often met to discuss their creative process and bounce ideas off one another. She was going over her latest idea with him, a murder mystery novel. He could sniff out a plot hole like a blood hound and would tell you straight up if an idea was cliche or boring.

"The professor is tall and blond. He's smart, but a bit too much like a realist. He doesn't believe the girls' story about their father at first. He also has this fascination with gadgets and technology," she was saying leading up to her inquiry. She never got there. Josh cut her off first.

"So he's Chris basically," he said taking a shot for the basketball hoop and missing. She didn't mind. She was used to him doing other things while they talked.

"What? No, he isn't," she defended, "Not all writers base their characters on people they know, Josh."

"Do writers usually get all doe eyed with lust when talking about their characters?" He responded retrieving his ball, "Or their latest study session with someone?"

That's when she knew it or at least when she understood it. She liked Chris. And she didn't just like Chris, she LIKED Chris. As in she would like very much to get romantic with Chris. As in she would like very much to date Chris. As in she would like very much to kiss Chris. She wasn't sure what shocked her more, the fact that she had a crush on Chris or that Josh had known about it before she had. She wondered how long she had had a crush on him. Long enough for Josh to notice it seemed. She wondered if he was upset. He didn’t look upset. In fact he looked, well she really couldn't place the way he looked. Honestly kinda happy actually. She wondered if he liked the idea of her and Chris being together. She didn't get a chance to ask him because Hannah, Beth and Sam invited them inside for a movie after that. Neither of two of them ever brought it up again. There never seemed to be a right time. Even if there was Ashley wasn't sure she would have been able to find the right words.

Maybe she should have. Maybe she should have trusted Josh a little more than she did after that. Maybe then he wouldn't have felt so alone in the world. Maybe then she wouldn't be here right now, about to testify against one of her closest friends. Could she even call him that anymore? After the night they'd had. After everything that had happened between them.

The man who had taken Sam away reappeared in the doorway. Ashley felt Chris' hand tighten protectively on her leg. She knew if he could he would volunteer to go next. Or suggest they go in together. But they were bound by the restraints of the legal system.

"Ashley Brown you are needed in the court room."

She swallowed hard and stood up to follow him. She was surprised when Chris stood as well. She was less shocked when he quickly took her face in his hands and forced her to look him right in the eyes.

"You are going to be fine," he said slowly. She nodded and gave him a tiny smile before she turned away to follow the bailiff. She left Chris thinking how she would do anything in the world for disco lights on the ceiling, jazz music mixing with smoke in the air and Joshua Washington braiding her hair.

\---

The anxiety fairy danced widely around her head as she swore in. Her father was here even though she had tried to subtly ask him not to show up. At least her sister had come too. That should keep her father in check to some degree. She saw her friends watching her from much closer in the front. She didn't like the look on Sam's face. Like she had something important to tell her. Ashley looked at Josh but he didn't, or couldn't, meet her eyes back. She wanted to tell him she was forced into this. That she had refused for as long as she could. Her father had pushed her, convinced her she should do this. Once Sam and Chris agreed as well she had felt like she had little choice in it.

"Your name, occupation, and relationship with the client for the record please." The prosecutor was saying to her.

"My name is Ashley Brown and I am double majoring in English and Education at the University of Southern California. Josh has been one of my two closest friends for a few years now."

"And you were one of the guests Mr. Washington invited up to his family's lodge in memory of his missing possibly dead sisters?"

"Yes." She hadn't wanted to go back to that awful place, but she had missed spending time with Josh like an aching wound. She missed his mind and his sense of humor. She missed the way they would wonder together about deep philosophic questions. Like if there was life out there that was watching them from afar or if peanut butter and jelly had a dysfunctional co-dependent relationship. He became like a ghost after what happened to the twins. It had been one of the main reasons she chucked away her guilt and fear. She had to see Josh, as friends, again.

"And you spent the majority of the night in the company of Mr. Christopher Hartley correct?"

"This is correct." That had been the second reason she had trudged up passed the Canadian border. The allure of being alone somewhere secluded with Chris. They spent almost everyday together true, but surrounded by family, friends and school faculty. She had been starting to go crazy every time he licked his damn lips, a habit he did quite often.

"Can you please take us through the events of that night as you recall them, Miss Brown?"

She nodded slowly before sighing out loudly.

"Well after we had all got up to the lodge and Chris got the door open a bunch of the others wandered off. Mike and Jess left for the guest cabin and Matt and Emily went to find her bag, which was missing. Sam had decided to take a bath. So it was just me, Chris and Josh.” Like it had been a thousand and one times before then. Laughing, teasing, joking and messing around. Just Ashley and her two boys. God, she had been so happy for a few wonderful minutes that night.

“So, Josh wanted to have a seance with this spirit board he had in the house. So Chris and I went to find it. He found it and then we set everything up in this room off of the library for that. We asked if anyone was there and it moved. It spelled out 'sister' and you know since the twins had gone missing the year before we figured it might be one of them. So we asked and it told us that the spirit contacting us was Beth. She said that she was trying to warn us that Hannah and her had been murdered last year. And there was proof hidden somewhere in the library. Then all of a sudden the pointer just flew right off the table." Ashley had been getting excited telling her story then she paused for a moment to consider something, "Though I suppose all that was probably just Josh messing around with us."

"Miss Brown, please refrain from conjecture," the judge warned her.

"Right, sorry," Ashley said releasing another sigh, "So, Josh got really upset and he stormed off. We figured he just needed some time alone. Chris and I decided to go look in the library for whatever might be in there. We found this secret room behind a bookcase and in it Chris found a photo of Hannah and Beth with a threat written on the back in what looked like blood."

The lawyer stopped her there in order to enter said picture into evidence. She had carried it around with her all night and read the back of it several times. Yet hearing the lawyer read the words aloud and knowing it was Josh who wrote them brought a chill to her skin she didn't expect. She thought about how soft Josh's voice could be even when he was being overly dramatic. She ran her fingers along the goosebumps on her wrist feeling tears prickle at the corner of her eyes.

"Thank you, now if you'll please continue."

"Well, we were worried about Josh after we saw the clue. I felt like we needed to tell him what we had found. So we went to find him. We thought we heard him shouting in the kitchen so I ran in after him and then everything went dark. I think someone knocked me out. When I woke up I was tied up. Hanging by my wrists in the dark. I was so scared I just started to cry." She felt tears stating to spill down her cheeks from the memory. She did her best to hold the cries back in her throat as she spoke though. "I heard Chris' voice eventually and called out to him so he could find me. I didn't know where I was or what was happening. It was so dark out there. When the lights came on I saw Josh, or I guess what I thought was Josh, tied up beside me."

She was losing her breath, her chest felt tight and her head was starting to ache. Her heart was going to burst forth from her chest she just knew it. The anxiety fairy around her head was laughing now and suddenly every noise in the room was far too loud to handle. She could hear every breath and every motion every single person in the room made. She could hear her heart in her ears and she knew the jury must be able to hear it too. The pounding was too loud for them not to.

"There was this huge saw with a motor on this rail coming right for us and this voice over the speakers said.” Another breathe “Said that there was a lever by Chris behind this chain-link wall. He tried to get to us, but he couldn't. The voice said that only one of us could live. That Chris had to choose one of us to live and one of us to die. And he..."

Josh looked like he might burn a hole in the table with his glare. Her throat was starting to hurt with the cries she wasn't able to let out. He was such a stranger to her in that moment and yet she understood his feelings perfectly.

"Chris said he would save me. That he wouldn't let me die. He flipped the switch and I heard Josh screaming. I closed my eyes tightly and something warm and wet splashed all over me. Then Josh wasn't screaming anymore. I heard Chris come into the room to let me down and when I looked over Josh had been sawed in half guts spilling all over the place. I was covered in blood."

"Were you aware that a police investigation found the rails were rigged to go to the defendant's side no matter what?"

"Not until much later no."

"So, at the time you felt your life was in real present danger?"

"Yes, I did and Josh's too."

The lawyer called for the fake body stuffed with pig guts to be brought in. It had been well preserved but the sight and smell still made her sick and sad. She was asked if this had been what she had seen in the shed. She agreed that it had been though really it looked so fake now. She wasn't sure how she ever thought it had been Josh before. Even with all the fear and the darkness, she should have known. She always should have known. The fake body was entered into evidence.

"Where did you and Mr. Hartley head next, Miss Brown?"

"We ran into Matt and Emily outside and they went to call for help. Chris and I went to go find Sam in the lodge. We thought something might have happened to her. We searched the whole place until we ended up in this old hotel under the ski lodge." She had been expressly told by the prosecutor to leave out all the details about seeing specters and ghouls from her testimony in front of the jury. 

"Eventually we found a dummy dressed up like Sam. That’s when we were attacked again by this man in a white mask and overalls. I tried to fight back but he punched me to knock me out."

"Is that how you received your black eye?"

"Yes." She touched her eye gently. The bruise had mostly healed at this point. It had faded to a yellowish green color now rather than black.

“What happened next?”

“When I woke up I was strapped to a chair at a table across from Chris. There were saw-blades above our heads that were descending towards us. There was a gun on the table and the maniac's voice said.. said,” she could hear herself getting hysterical, but didn't know how to stop it, “That Chris had to shoot one of us. We didn't know what to do. We were freaking out. Then the lights went out. When they came back on Mike and Sam rushed into the room at the same time as the maniac.”

She swallowed hard there and closed her eyes tightly. A gunshot went off. 

“Miss Brown?”

“Right. The uh. He took off his mask. We saw who he was.”

“And who was he?”

“It was Josh. Josh was the maniac. He wasn't dead.”

“And do you see him here in the courtroom today?”

“Yes, he's, he's there.” She pointed a weak finger towards him. 

“No further questions. Thank you.”

Okay good now she just had to get through the cross-examination. All the blood from her heart must be rushing to her head. She was so dizzy. Her face must have been redder than an apple. She gripped her chair to keep herself from rocking back and forth or falling into a crumpled heap on the ground. She thought she could make it through though. Just tell the truth, that's what Sam had said. It was working so far. She wished Chris was here. She really wanted to be held.

The other lawyer was much shorter and wider than the prosecuting lawyer. His suit was blue and his tie was black. Ashley didn't like the way he smiled at her. She also didn't like the way both Josh and Sam were looking at her, as if they both wanted to shield her from him. For just that moment Josh looked like her old friend again. That hurt more than anything else that had taken place that day. Now it was Ashley who couldn't look at him.

“Miss Brown, are you aware that you and your friends were drug tested when you were picked by park ranger rescue services?”

Oh no. She was aware of this, you can't drug test people without their knowledge. She knew that, but her father was sitting in this room. How was she meant to answer here? 

“Yes, I am.” She couldn't lie. She was under oath.

“And are you also aware that both you and Mr.Hartley tested positively for Marijuana use?” She sighed. That made sense. She had neglected to inform the jury that she, Josh and Chris had gotten “loose” before their little seance. They didn't even get that high. It had been so long since the three of them had smoked together. She had just wanted it to feel like old times again.

“Yes, we were told that.”

“Have you ever partaken in any illegal substances? Like Marijuana?” 

“Yes, I have.”

“And did you and Mr. Hartley do so on that night?”

“Yes, we did.”

“You left this out of your testimony, why is that?”

Because my father is sitting here in the courthouse and I didn't want to admit to him, a judge, and my boyfriend's parents that both he and I smoke something regularly that it is against the law to smoke.

“I must have forgotten about it. With everything else going on.”

“So you were under the influence of drugs that night. This means it would be safe to assume your judgment wasn't at it's best?”

“What? No! We barely split a joint between us. That's like nothing for any of the three of us.” Ashley could handle thrice that on a bad day all on her own and still be in good enough shape to ace a final. She looked at Josh. He looked oddly like he was sorry. She knew why. She was admitting to being a stoner in front of her father in a court of law. She was already hearing the stern lecture in her head. She'd be locked in the house for a month or maybe two. Her car privileges would definitely be gone. Who knew if she would ever be seeing Chris again?

“Objection your honor, this doesn't change what the witness saw or experienced that night.”

“Sustained. Mr. White, please move on.”

“Fine.” The man walked away and for a brief moment Ashley thought it was over. She was already starting to quietly sob to herself. Then he walked back over and produced what anyone else would assume was just a mundane pair of scissors, but she knew far better than that.

“Miss Brown, do you recognize these?”

“Yes, I recognize them.” She had given up trying to stop herself from rocking back and forth.

“Do you mind telling the court where you recognize them from exactly?”

“I used them.” Sobs were breaking into her sentences now.

“You used them? Whatever did you use them for?”

“Please,” she whispered. She wanted this to stop.

“I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.”

“Please,”she whispered again. She just wanted this to be over. 

“Miss Brown, speak up so the court can hear you,” the judge commanded of her.

“Please,” she whispered one last time. Nothing about this was fair.

“Miss Brown, answer the question or you will be held in contempt of court,” the judge warned her one last time.

She always cuddled with Josh when they got high, his head on her stomach and his fingers in her hair.

“I didn't mean to stab him! I didn't know it was Josh! I wouldn't have stabbed him if I knew, I swear it. I didn't know. I really didn't know. I thought he was dead and Sam was gone and Chris was knocked out and I was all alone.” She was told if she testified she wouldn't be charged for attacking Josh. “I'm so so so so sorry. Please. I was so scared. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” She couldn't hold back anymore. 

Ashley collapsed in on herself, shrieking and crying.

\---

She didn't really clearly remember what happened after that. She knew she was taken from the witness stand. There was a lot of commotion in the court room around her, but she was deaf to all of it. She wanted to see Chris, but that wasn't possible. The next thing she was fully aware of she was outside the courtroom doors with Matt. His strong arms wrapped tightly around her. 

“Ashley, hey Ash. You with me?” She finally heard him say. She looked up at him. He looked worried. She wiped her eyes and her nose. He still held on tight to her shoulders though now he held her at arms length instead of to his chest.

“Yeah, I just, I spaced out I guess,” she answered. No, she had had another anxiety attack. But they both knew that. There was no reason to dwell on it any more than they already had.

“Damn,” he said releasing her a little, “You really scared us with that one. You doing better?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine Matt. Thanks.” Her heart-rate felt normal again, and she could breathe right. She kept looking around nervously even though they were the only two people in the hallway. 

“Do you need anything? Like some water or something?” 

“No really, I'm okay. Can we go inside now?”

Matt looked at her like she had just told him she could talk to cows or that all horses were blue. She understood that. After that entire display it was hard to imagine anyone wanting to go back into that place. But Ashley was nothing if not curious and she wanted to see how this all played out. She also really wanted, no she really needed to see Chris. That was where he was going to be.

“If you think you can handle that. Sure, let's go,” Matt said, keeping one arm firmly around her as he led her back into the courtroom. Her sister reached out for her, but she ignored it. She wasn't ready to deal with her family yet. Ashley saw the bailiff leading Chris in at the front of the room and kept her focus there. Soon she was sat next to Sam and Mike, who were gripping hands like they might drown if they let go. Matt sat next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. She felt Sam rub her back with her free hand. Chris found her in the audience and gave her a small smile. He had no idea what had just gone down or what he was in for. Ashley wished she could put a barrier of safety around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my poor baby. Sorry that was a little hard because full disclosure Ashley is my favorite character. Also Ashley has a single dad and older sister because I want to give the characters diverse families. Again please wait until the end before you judge Josh.
> 
> Save the best for last Chris is our next witness...


	3. Christopher takes the Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris takes the stand and maybe he shouldn't have...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you to expect them close together. This was probably the most fun one to write because I love love love this friendship!!!
> 
> Though I'm not sure how well I portrayed Chris here, he came off as kind of a smart-ass cause that's how I see pissed but trying not to be pissed Chris I guess.
> 
> Also yay for little Chris and Josh, and some Chrashley. So cute!

Sam had left and now Ashley had left. That meant Chris was alone with his thoughts. He stretched out his long gangly legs. At least no on was giving him sideways glances every time he sighed now. He couldn't keep himself from sighing either every time he thought about Josh and sitting in the courthouse about to testify against the guy he couldn't help but think about Josh. Josh Washington was his oldest friend. His closest friend. His most trustworthy friend. His best friend. His very best friend. His 'we ride together, we die together' kinda best friend.

They had hit it off immediately when Chris was moved to the back of the classroom. Mostly due to the Rubik's Cube the other boy had been given in order to in Josh's own words “keep his mind focused in the present when it started to wander to more exciting and interesting places.” Chris just happened to know the trick to solving them. His uncle had taught him over Christmas. Josh was a quiet kid and no one in class knew that much about him. He spent more time with the teaching assistant than anyone else did though and he was almost a full year older than most everyone else. Chris had felt honored to be the first kid invited over to his house after a week of back and forth chatter between them. Even if Billy Jones said Josh's family was probably going to kill and stuff him like a trophy head on the wall.

Josh's house in one word was massive. In two it was massive and impressive. Chris gaped like a fish at all the newest toys and gizmos his friend had. His room was on the third floor and was larger than Chris and his mom's rooms put together. He had bunk beds with a slide and a couch even though he didn't have to share his room with anybody. He had his own T.V. and his own computer. His room also had a balcony attached to it overlooking the pool. Chris thought rooms like this only existed in movies.

Now Chris had always been a clever guy. His mom said he was more aware than any baby she had ever seen when he was born, which was a feat considering she was a nurse in a maternity ward. Josh seemed weird showing off all his toys and his big fancy house. He shifted from one foot to the other and kept picking at his nails. The reason for his usually standoffish nature became apparent to Chris.

“So, what do you think?” Josh asked him in a small voice. He clearly wanted to impress his new friend but he was nervous too. This left Chris in a difficult place. He thought on it before answering. 

"I think," he said sitting on Josh's lower bed, "you are going to feel so cramped when you to come visit me at my place. You might get bored too. There's a pretty awesome park nearby that my mom can take us to though." That was all it took for Josh to smile and loosen up. It wasn't just an invitation to hang out with Chris again, away from the Washington mansion. It was a promise. A promise that Chris liked Josh and not Josh's stuff.

Soon Chris was telling him about his boy scout troop and at dinner that night Josh was begging his father to see what he could do about getting him into it with him. Two meetings later Josh was there. He showed his new uniform off to Chris and talked excitedly the whole time about the fun stuff they'd get to do together now. Chris even taught Josh how to play chess, which ended up being a mistake as the Washington boy was a natural strategist and was matching his friend's skill in no time. They started doing their homework together twice a week too. That was how things started. Josh hanging onto Chris like a lost puppy. Chris even overheard Melinda telling his mom about how happy she was that Josh finally had a nice boy for a friend. She also said that she hoped her son would benefit from having a good influence around for once.

They were 10 when Josh had his first breakdown at school.

Josh hadn't come back with the rest of the class from their music lesson. He had disappeared somewhere along the walk. Chris asked to use the bathroom, got the hall-pass and headed out to look for him. Eventually he heard something near the back stairwell and went that way. He'd gotten all the way to the back of their school building before he found his best friend. He was curled under the stairs with his head buried in his arms. Chris said nothing. He just crawled underneath and sat next to him. Chris sat cross-legged next to Josh for a long while unsure if the other boy even knew he was there until Josh finally spoke up through his tears.

“Why aren't you in class?” Josh didn't look at him when he asked.

“Why aren't you?” Chris countered. That was when Josh looked up at him. His eyes were red and his nose was running with snot. He looked pathetic and disgusting so Chris tried to put his arm around him. Josh quickly pulled away.

“I got scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don't know...I just didn't want to be in there anymore.”

“Oh.” He said it like he understood it but he didn't. Josh was wiping his face on his sleeves to clean himself up. He wouldn't look at Chris anymore but he kept talking.

“I left my bag in the music room. I went back for it. I got into a fight with the music teacher.”

“Why?” Chris wanted this to make sense, but it seemed like the more Josh told him the less it did.

“I'm having a bad day. I have bad days. Sometimes when I have bad days I get mad and I hit people.” Years later Chris would know what his friend meant when he told him this. He would come to understand that Josh was mentally ill. Right at that moment though all he could to think to say was:

“Sorry.” It seemed to be enough though. Josh leaned his head on Chris' shoulder. Chris felt bigger than him, like he was an adult and Josh was a child. He tried to put his arm around him again. This time Josh let him. Josh wasn't crying anymore, but he was sniffling.

“Do you ever get mad, Chris?”

“I think everybody gets mad, dude.”

“What do you get mad about?” Chris made a face before answering.

“My mom started dating. That makes me pretty mad.” And it did. Her new boyfriend's son was older than him by four years, was a huge prick and his mom was talking about moving in with them soon.

“I get mad when people tell me what to do. Or not to do. I like to do things my way.” Josh still didn't look at him. He was digging the toes of his shoes into the dirt in front of them and Chris thought it was best to just leave him to it.

A teacher found them maybe an hour later still talking under the stairs and it was the first time Chris had ever been called to the Principal's office in his entire life. It certainly wouldn't be the last however. Chris took what Josh said a little too much to heart that day and as they got older Josh's identity just got stronger. The dynamic of their entire friendship had shifted. The day Chris found Josh was the day he stopped leading and started following. Josh didn't always take them in the best of directions either.

Years later it would be Chris who found Josh again. This time it was when he tried to kill himself after Hannah and Beth went missing. He had walked into the Washington home many times uninvited. Josh was half-conscious in his room on the floor with his different medications spilled everywhere and a nearly empty bottle of whiskey tipped over. Chris called 911 and driven to the hospital as fast as he legally could. It was hours after Josh had had his stomach pumped and was checked into the psych ward that Chris finally got to talk to him. Josh barely said anything. He told Chris they were admitting him overnight for awhile and to tell Sam for him. Chris had promised to visit him while he was in there.

“Don't,” Josh had said. So Chris didn't. He should have, but he didn't. Now, Josh was going to jail.

The bailiff came back. Chris stood before he could even say his name and tell him he was needed in the courtroom. Chris followed the man out of the room with heavy footfalls. For the first time in his life he wished that Jeanie Simonds had chosen to wear a turtleneck sweater to school that day in third grade.

\---

He caught sight of his mom and her husband first, his mom had been crying most definitely from what he had no clue. Then he saw his friends. He felt a little stupid for feeling a slight pang of jealousy when he saw Matt's arm so snugly around Ashley, especially as her eyes were fixed so lovingly on him. He tried so hard not to look at Josh as he swore in. He wasn't sure what emotion it would bring up, but he knew whatever it was would not be good. He tried to push the thought of Josh from his head and focus on the maniac, to make them two different people. But how do you erase eleven years of friendship?

“Could you please state your name, your occupation and relationship with the defendant for the court record please?”

“Chris..uh..stopher. Uh Christopher Hartley, I'm a computer science major at the University of Southern California and I am...was Josh's best friend.” Saying that should be more painful. It came out too easily.

“How long have you known the defendant, Mr. Hartley?”

“Eleven years.”

“Wow, that's a long time.” Chris felt like all of that existed in a different universe. One where Beth wasn't dead, Hannah wasn't a monster and Josh hadn't done all the horrible things he had done to them.

“Now, you were invited up to the Washington lodge by the defendant this passed February correct?”

“Yes, I was.” And I went because I wanted to be a good friend. To a guy I felt like I had let down. Because his sisters are dead, and we were passed out drunk and helpless. 

“And you have been up to the Washington ski lodge before?”

“A few times over the years, yeah.”

“Could you tell us what happened that night? In your own words please.”

“I went up to the lodge with Sam. Door was iced. I got it open. Some people left. Josh told me to find a spirit board. So I did. It told me and Ashley to look in the library for some clue. We found some messed up threat written on the back of a photo of Hannah and Beth-” The prosecuting lawyer paused him here to show off the picture in question that was already in evidence. Chris assumed Ashley brought it up.

“We went to find Josh and Ashley got taken. So I went to find her. Instead I found both my best friends, tied up in a shed with a saw-blade about to slice one of them in half and a voice telling me I had to pick which one of them to die. I- I didn't know what to do.”

“Could you clarify for the jury who exactly was tied up in shed?”

Sam was giving him a look and Chris knew why. He was trying to rush through his testimony and was skipping over a lot details. He was giving a weak testimony on purpose. He didn't want to be here and he didn't want to send Josh to prison. He was trying to help Josh. After everything the guy had done to him and to Ashley, here he was trying to protect him. He breathed in deep. Sam was shaking her head.

“Josh and Ashley.”

“And I know this is difficult for you but which of them did you choose to save?”

“I picked...I picked Ashley.” It really wasn't Chris' proudest moment. He should have found a way to help both of them. To save the two most important people in his life. But in the end he could save only one of them. If he absolutely had to choose then he had to pick Ashley. Not because he cared about her more, or because they were closer or because he felt she deserved to live more than Josh did. Not even because he had deeper romantic feelings for her. 

No, he picked her because of all the times Josh had told him he wanted to die.

The guy even tried to commit suicide once and as awful as it sounded that's what Chris remembered when it came time for him to pick. He couldn't save Josh's life at the expense of Ashley's just for him to change his mind later on down the line. He couldn't let something happen to her only for Josh to decide that his life was ultimately not worth it. So he had saved Ashley because he had to.

“Then what happened?”

“We left. We thought there was a maniac loose-”

“No, what happened in the shed?”

Fuck.

“The saw cut Josh in half. His legs fell to the ground and guts were spilling out. His blood splashed all over Ashley. They were both screaming.” Chris still had nightmares about it. About the saw splitting in two and cutting them both apart. His two best friends dying and him standing there helpless. Just like he had been the night Beth and Hannah went missing. He was helpless and useless to his best friend when he was most needed by him.

“But that wasn't real, right?” Chris continued anger rising glaring at Josh, “Because there he is. Alive.”

“Mr. Hartley please only answer questions you are asked and don't speak out.” The judge warned him.

“Yes, your honor.” Chris said bowing his head at her apologetically. 

“Please,” the lawyer spoke up, “Continue with your account of the events.”

“I got Ashley out of the shed and we ran into Matt and Emily. They went to call for help and we went to find Sam to make sure she was okay. I searched the upstairs of the lodge and Ashley searched the downstairs but we couldn't find her so we headed into the basement. We ended up in this creepy old hotel under the ski lodge. We found all these meat hooks and a board with our pictures on it and a dead gutted pig. It was pretty gross.” And it was all Josh's. Josh's freaky tools and toys meant to scare and disgust them. Chris tried to push that out of his mind and keep talking.

“So we found this dummy wearing Sam's clothes and then I was grabbed from behind and knocked out. When I came to there were these saw-blades overhead and Ashley and I were strapped down to these chairs. There was a table between us that had a gun on it and one of my hands was free. The voice from before was back and it said I had to make another choice only this time it was me or Ashley. So I...”

He could see and hear his mother crying. If she was crying now he wasn't sure how she would take his next statement. He hand went up to finger the side of his jaw. He still had a sizable bruise there. The doctors told him he was very lucky to even be alive even though the gun only had blanks. He should be happy he got away with only some bad bruising.

“I shot myself. In the head.” He heard his mother cry out in anguish at that. He wanted to punch Josh just to help relieve the dull ache that left in his chest. Thankfully his stepfather quieted her down.

“And yet here you sit with us. Care to explain?”

“The gun was filled with blanks. I got a pretty nasty bruise, but nothing else.” Chris didn't wait to be egged on, he wanted to be passed this topic. “So then the lights went out and when they came back on Sam, Mike and this guy in a white mask and overalls all came into the room. I didn't know why I was still alive, but I was so I shot at him. The maniac I mean not Mike. I shot the guy in the mask. Nothing happened. That's when he told me the gun had blanks. Then he took off his mask and it was Josh.”

“And you see this man in the courthouse?”

“Yeah, he's over there,” Chris said nodding his head at Josh catching a slight look at him in the process. He actually looked a little sick. He looked really tired too. Chris found himself wondering if he had been crying a lot lately.

“Could you tell us what happened next.”

“Well, Mike was pretty upset. He thought Jess was dead and after everything Josh did that night, we thought he might have been the one that killed her. So I tied him up and we took him outside and I left the two of them out there. I didn't see Josh again until after rescue picked us all up.”

“Why did you tie Josh up and leave him outside?”

“We felt like he was probably dangerous and we were trying to protect ourselves. We didn't feel comfortable leaving him inside with everyone. Mike offered to stay with him until morning. He wanted me to go back inside and make sure that the ladies were doing okay.” That wasn't completely true, but it wasn't a complete lie either. Sam could easily have take care of herself but Ashley had been through so much that night he wasn't so sure about her. Mike had actually sent him away because they had fought, but Chris was not about to tell them that.

“Thank you, no further questions.”

'Good' Chris thought. He rolled his eyes. He just wanted this day to be over. Josh's lawyer went to stand up, but Josh stopped him before he could. The two whispered something back and forth for a few moments before the man stood and approached Chris. He didn't like the look on Josh's face. It stirred something deep in his gut. He figured this would be bad. He'd known Josh for eleven years. Josh knew exactly how he ticked. This didn't bode well for him at all.

“Mr. Hartley, I can imagine that these choices you were forced to make were very difficult for you.”

“They were. Yes.” They were probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, dipshit!

“I'm sorry that you have to keep revisiting them...”

No, you aren't. 

“...but I do have some questions,” he cleared his throat before continuing, “What is your relationship status with Miss Ashley Brown at this time?”

“I don't really see why that matters.” Oh yes, Josh definitely knew how he ticked.

“Objection your honor. Relevance?”

“Your honor, the two of them and my client have spent a great deal of time together and Mr. Hartley chose to save Miss Brown's life not once but twice that evening putting even his own life at risk in the process. I'm simply trying to gather all the necessary facts here.”

“I'll allow it. Mr. Hartley answer the question, please.”

“We're currently dating.” More aptly it would be better to describe their relationship as having gone from best friends who spent nearly every day together playing video games and studying to best friends who spent nearly every day together making out and grinding up against each other. But dating felt like the more appropriate description for court, especially with both her father and his mother in attendance.

“When did that start?”

“Early February.” On Blackwood Pines Mountain.

“In what relation to the events at the Washington ski lodge”

“During, I guess.”

“During?” the man almost laughed, “Care to explain that to us? How during this apparently traumatic event where you were fearing for your life you somehow began a romantic relationship?”

“It's not like that.” He was trying to make it sound like they had blown what Josh did out of proportion. He was trying to show the jury that they were all just overreacting. That if this had been an actual life or death struggle the last thing on either his or Ashley's minds would have been their deeper feelings for one another.

“Then what is it like?”

“We were scared. She was worried about me and I was worried about her. She kissed me. We thought we might die. I didn't know if I was gonna get another chance to say it so I told her that I loved her-” Oh shit. Oh shit no. He wasn't that stupid. He couldn't be that stupid. Because Chris hadn't said “I love you” to Ashley. Certainly not in the Washington ski Lodge and if Josh knew him, which he did, he knew he hadn't said it to her since then either. But he had sure said it now, like a imbecile, in front of the entire courthouse, in front of both their parents, in front of their friends, for the first time after such a short time together. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't think about her. His testimony was still happening and he had to be here for it. 

“Alright, I suppose I understand now. I guess we can see what it was that swayed your decision towards Miss Brown when you thought both her and my client's lives were on the line as well.” Chris felt something inside him snap like uncooked pasta.

“Excuse me?”

“I was going to ask why you decided to save Miss Brown over my client but I believe you have answered that for me already.”

“No. No. You don't understand.”

“How long have you known my client again, Mr. Hartley?”

“Eleven years. Why?”

“Hmm, yeah, I think I understand just fine. In fact it looks pretty cut and dry to me. I don't blame you. She's seems lovely and she's a very beautiful young lady.”

“Don't judge me!”

“Objection! Badgering the witness.”

“Sustained. Mr. White move on please.”

“Yes, your honor.” The lawyer went to get a paper from a stack on the defendant's box and then approached the bench again. He had a smile on his face. One Chris didn't care for. He wanted to look at Ashley, but his embarrassment from earlier was still too high.

“Mr. Hartley, you testified earlier that you and Mr. Munroe escorted my client out to the shed for the rest of the night correct?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Why didn't you call the police then exactly?”

“None of us had cell service and the power was out. There was a storm so we were gonna wait until morning when it blew over or the rescue chopper arrived.” Chris really was trying to keep the 'well, duh' look off his face, he really really was.

“There wasn't anything you left out of your testimony from that part of the night was there?”

Fuck.

“Not that I can think of, no.”

“Are you sure?”

“It was a long night, I don't remember all of it.”

“Do you recall telling the park rangers that you had hit my client upside the head with a 2x4 piece of wood, thereby knocking him unconscious?”

Fuck.

“Yes, I do.”

“You didn't mention it in your testimony.”

“I didn't think it was important.”

“Well, that isn't for you to decide now is it?” Chris was sure then that he hated this guy.

“I would like to request the witness add this to their testimony and share with the court what happened between him and my client in the shed.”

“Mr. Hartley.” The judge said, “Please add this to your official testimony.”

“Fine. Look, Josh was acting crazy okay. He wouldn't shut up and we thought that he had killed Jessica. He was trying to get us riled up saying all these horrible things to us and I was afraid if I didn't do something about it then Mike would. And Mike had a gun. I didn't know that he wasn't really gonna shoot him. So I hit him in the head to stop him. He was knocked out. Mike got mad and then I left.”

“And during all this my client was tied up?”

“Yes. He was tied up.”

“Yet you still felt he was a threat?”

“He was trying to fuck with us. He kept saying all these things.”

“Like what?” Chris was thrown off by that.

“What?”

“What did my client say that made you feel like he was a threat?”

Nothing. Josh hadn't said anything that indicated he was a threat to either him or Mike. He had just said some stuff to get under their skin. That wasn't why Chris had hit him. He couldn't give the real reason he had hit Josh though. He couldn't tell them what had genuinely been going through his mind in that moment. Why he needed Josh to stop talking. To stop saying those things.

“Well, we're waiting Mr. Hartley.”

“He called us some names and insulted us.”

“We're going to need you to be a lot more specific than that.” Well, at least he tried.

“He told Mike that he couldn't have killed Jessica because he would have remembered because she's got a really nice body that he wouldn't have forgotten. He also called me an ass. And a pussy. Then he said that I might as well let Ashley sleep with Mike because at least he'd know how to treat her right.”

“So, he insulted your manhood and you hit him?”

“That's not what happened.” Chris couldn't even look at this guy anymore. He tried to look everywhere, anywhere else, but at the man in front of him.

“Oh no? Sounds like it's what happened.”

“He was saying all this crazy stuff. I had to stop him.” He felt the heat gather at the base of his neck and his hands curling and uncurling into fists.

“Did he threaten you?”

“Well, no, he didn't.” He was basically talking through his teeth at his point.

“Then why did you feel the need to stop him so badly?”

“Because that wasn't Josh! I don't who that psychopath was but it wasn't my best friend.” He was shouting now. How long had he been getting louder? When did he stand up? How much like a loose cannon did he look to the jury? He smashed his best friend over the head with a 2x4, admitted to shooting himself in the head, and was now yelling at the defense attorney. He wondered if his testimony would be thrown out completely after this.

Maybe he wasn't so clever after all.

\---

Court was adjourned for the day. Chris leaned up against his old pickup truck, a sixteenth birthday gift from his uncle, and waited for his mother and stepfather to finish making their way over to him. Mike and Sam had taken off with her family almost immediately after they were let out. That was fine by him. He wasn't in the mood for her lectures anyway. He hadn't really seen what happened to Matt, but he assumed he had left as well. There wasn't any reason to stick around. He could see Ashley's dad was giving her a hard time a little further in the parking lot and normally Chris would have stepped in to offer some help, but it seemed inappropriate after today. Besides he was awaiting his own talking to

“Christopher!” He tore his eyes away from Ashley and met eyes with his mother instead, “Look at me when I speak to you.”

“Sorry, I was distracted,” He said standing up straight and taking his hands out his pockets. There was a reason parents (usually) loved Chris.

“Yes, by your new girlfriend I see. The one that you neglected to tell me about.” His mother looked mad. She had her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. She wore glasses just like he did over eyes that were identical to his own, but hers sometimes made her eyes look like they would turn into laser beams and shoot him. The two of them looked alike in pretty much every regard. Chris sometimes wondered if he had inherited anything from his father.

“I didn't think you'd be cool with it,” he responded with a shrug, “You know, all things considered.”

“Well, you'd be right,” she said as if that was obvious, “You stayed in school even though I insisted you take the rest of the semester off, you are testifying in this court case even though it is far too close to home for you emotionally and now what I hear you saying is that you've started a new relationship. After everything you have been through! You can't keep pushing yourself like this, Chris.”

“Come on mom, it's not like I went and hooked up with just anybody. This is Ashley. You know Ashley. You like Ashley. Remember?”

“Honey, that is not the point. You know that I love Ashley,” uh oh, “Oh and apparently you do too.”

“Mom...”

“Enough to shoot yourself in the head even. To hell with your old mom.”

“Claire. Don't be unfair now.” That was his stepfather. Sounded like someone was on his side at least, “He's young. It was very unusual circumstances and he obviously likes her a lot.”

“Yes and young people who think they are in love do very stupid things, Daniel,” she argued back.

“Exhibit A, right mom?” Chris said gesturing to himself. He was mostly saying that just so she'd drop the topic. She always dropped the conversation when he brought up his missing dad or that fact that he was an unplanned baby. He had noticed Ashley stomping away from her father in a huff towards them in his peripheral vision and he wanted this over before she showed up.

“You know I didn't mean it that way.” She looked pretty guilty, and Chris had to admit he felt bad for it. She didn't say anything else about it though.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hi Chris,” Ashley said reaching them, “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan.” Both of them greeted her and then after very little small talk his stepfather said they had to go pick up Chris' younger half-brother Nick from school. His mom told him not to stay out too late even though she'd be on the night shift tonight. Then they said their goodbyes and got into their own car. Chris' mom still looked worried when they drove away, but at least they left him and Ashley by themselves with little fuss.

“So, hey,” Ashley said in a breathy voice that sent liquid heat through his sternum then his stomach and straight down into his groin once they were alone. Despite this Chris was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. “You wanna go for a ride somewhere? I just can't be home right now, know what I mean?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered in a sigh because it didn't drop, “That sounds great!” He felt like kissing her. Then in the only happy moment of the day he realized he could and did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's all of them, but there's still another chapter left to wrap this all up though.
> 
> Also been working a on a sequel to this centering around Sam and Josh... Just so you know...


	4. ??? takes the Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh is done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was hard. I always knew how the story ended, but still this was hard.
> 
> This is how I see Josh. I base it on a lot of lines people seem to skip in his dialogue such as "I bring people together." "This is not how it was supposed to go done." and the multiple times he says, "I just want things to be like they used to." Please keep in mind that what Josh thinks is not necessarily true, it's just how JOSH interprets them. This is not the most wide-spread interpretation I know, but it's mine. Also please know that I myself am also very mentally ill and relate to Josh a lot so nothing I have him do or say is meant to be mocking.
> 
> Now though you may judge him.

One by one they had taken the stand against him. The three most central people in Josh's life. His closest friends. The girl whom he had let touch his heart, the girl who had been privy to his brain, and the boy who had helped shape his soul. He had tested them. He had opened their eyes. He had shared with them. He had loved them.

This was how they repaid him.

They spoke of how he had chased them and tied them up. How he knocked them unconscious and forced them to make difficult choices. They spoke of the fear that he had instilled in them, but not of the life he had given them. Still after all of it they didn't understand. He never expected the others to get it. Oh he like them just fine. He wanted to be closer to them sure. He wanted them around for it and they all needed to be punished for Hannah and Beth. They were all responsible. They were all his friends after all. But when it came to Matt, Mike, Jessica, and Emily there was simply nothing to them. They were surface beings. They were shallow. They could never feel it.

These three though. They were special. They were different. They always had been.

Ashley was intrigued by it. They'd get high, he'd braid her hair and she'd ask him question after question. She had wanted to read his journals and he had let her. She was easy to scare, but she secretly liked being scared. She couldn't fool Josh. Chris wanted to understand it. He'd been the only one among them to ever see him completely break down. Josh had even hit him once in anger. He found articles about it in his best friend's room and on his phone. He knew Chris even went to a counselor once to talk about it. Sam was attracted to it. Oh she'd deny it. But he saw her eyes light up when she touched the scars on his arm. He felt it the first time she kissed him through his tears over his sisters. He could feel her arousal from it when they made- when they had sex. They wanted it, so he had given it to them. You would think they would be grateful.

They weren't.

For that he was sad and he was sorry. Because he didn't want to hurt anybody. Not really. He wanted them to be scared, to feel bad, to get closer and to understand. But never did he want anything bad to happen to anyone. Especially to Ashley, Chris and Sam. He felt bad for hurting the others too. He truly did, but these three were special.

He never wanted them to hurt and he certainly didn't want to make things any worse for them. Now there were people trying to send him to jail. He needed to do something. He didn't have many options and his lawyer wanted to hurt them. Hurt them more than Josh already had. He asked Josh a lot of questions about his friends. He asked about Ashley and Josh confessed that she was secret stoner with a severe anxiety problem. She'd probably break down on the stand if pushed even just a little too hard. He asked about about Chris and Josh told him Chris would be calm until he felt like he was being judged then he'd snap especially when it came to Ashley who at this point he was probably dating.

Then his lawyer had asked about Sam and Josh broke a promise. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone about the two of them after Chris found out accidentally when Josh left his phone out. She said it would complicate things with their friends and families. He thought she was just embarrassed to be dating a mental case like him. Either way he had agreed to not say anything. Even after they broke things off, he had kept his word and not told anybody. His lawyer was pressuring him for something. He didn't know what else to say. So he told him about his relationship with Sam. Even though it pained him to do so.

Josh watched as his lawyer took the information he gave to him and wounded them in front of him. He managed to handle himself during Sam's testimony because as always his girl stayed strong, focused and calm. She faced it head on like she did everything. She was a warrior and Josh kicked himself a little for not enjoying every single second she had allowed him to have her. For not spending more time worshiping every inch of her. For ending things in November. For ending things at all. He had thought for a while that he loved her, but that was completely impossible. Josh couldn't love her. He wasn't worthy of loving somebody like Samantha and besides that two thirds of his heart had disappeared into the cold winter over a year ago now. Josh wasn't capable of loving anybody anymore. 

Ashley's testimony was probably the hardest. She had looked at him so sadly, like she was sorry. Almost like she missed him. He could recognize those faces she made and he knew the whole time how close to crying she had been. He knew what speaking in front of crowds did to her and now his lawyer was making it worse. Ashley's super strict father would not tolerate any of the behavior she was describing. He was destroying her. Josh nearly ran to her side to comfort her when she broke down in tears. He wanted to lay his head against her stomach with his fingers twisting her tangled dirty hair into patterns and ask her what she thought trees dreamed about in the winter while they were asleep. He was relieved when he saw her again secure in the arms of Matt.

By the time Chris was on the stand. Josh told his lawyer to lay off. That he didn't want to do this anymore. He couldn't hurt his friends. His lawyer reminded him that it was this or plead insanity. That shut Josh up. When Josh had told his father about his plan to plead insanity Bob Washington had freaked out and forbidden it. There had been a fight. His father hadn't spoken to him since. Apparently a “sane” son stuck in prison that had tortured people was preferable to an insane son out of prison that had tortured people.

Chris had called him a psychopath. He had also called him his best friend. Several times. Josh wasn't sure how to process either of those things. He was happy the day in court was over though. He could go home. Or the closest thing he had to home since both his sisters went missing. Actually they were officially pronounced dead at this point. Well, Beth was anyway. Emily had found her head in the mines. Just her head though because his one surviving sister had eaten his other sister's dead body. Hannah was technically dead now, but would remain a missing person forever as her body was impossible to identify as hers.

Life, or death in this case, could be a little messed up that way.

\---

Josh would not be taking the stand in his own defense. This was probably for the best. There really wasn't anything he could add to the story that would help with his case or cause the jury to look favorably on him. Josh was asked a lot of questions by his lawyer in order to discover if there was anybody that could be called to the stand that might be able to help. In a perfect world Josh would have named Hannah and Beth. But in a perfect world he wouldn't be on trial in the first place because then his sisters wouldn't be dead.

Instead the man taking the stand today was the only other person in the world who knew about Josh's night of horrors before it took place; Dr. Alan James Hill.

The man owned a lot of nice suits, but he had wore a particularly nice one to the courthouse today. Josh appreciated that. He would have looked better if he didn't look so melancholy though. He was the only witness who smiled at Josh though even if it wasn't quite happy. Josh remembered having tea with him many mid-mornings as they talked about whatever thoughts had made their home in his brain. The guy smiled too much to be comfortable and his eyes never looked quite real. He had an unfortunate accent that Josh was never quite able to place and a few times he had brought up his home country, but Josh could never remember the name. He wished he could think of it. He suspected it was a beautiful place. He wanted to go there some day and tell Dr. Hill what he saw.

Oddly it was probably his vaguely off-putting nature that made Josh like him. He had cast the man as the voice of reason in his head after all. Though his own delusions and sickness had twisted that into something dark and ugly the intention behind it had been good.

“Could you please give us your name, occupation and relationship with the defendant for the court record please doctor?”

“Certainly, it would be no trouble at all. My name is Dr. Alan James Hill. I am psychiatrist at Ocean View Hospital and have been practicing now for 37 years. Joshua Washington was under my care while he was being treated during his overnight residency and for some months following that.”

“When did you stop seeing Mr. Washington?”

“Sometime in the late fall. He and I had some disagreements over his treatment and diagnosis and he elected to not continue to take advantage of my services.” That was the polite was of saying that Dr. Hill had mentioned to Josh the possibility that perhaps given his symptoms and the severity of them he had been misdiagnosed as a young boy, something that wasn't uncommon for people of that age. Especially when it came to mental illness which was hard to fully understand and treat in children. Josh had knocked everything off the man's desk, flipped over his chair, and never returned. He wasn't about to be labeled any crazier than people already thought he was. He stopped taking his medication not long after that. He ended things with Sam not long after that too.

“What exactly was Mr. Washington being treated for under your care, Dr. Hill?”

“Major Depressive Disorder after an attempt at suicide over the disappearance or possible death of both of his younger sisters.” This had to be the millionth time someone had brought it up. It had to be. Yet somehow, all this time later it still didn't feel real. It still felt like someone else's life. Someone else's story. Someone else. Because even now it couldn't be true. It couldn't be real. And he didn't know why.

“Doctor do have any idea about the circumstances under which the defendant lost his two younger sisters over a year ago?”

“I was not there myself, but I have been over the events of that night a few times with Joshua so I do have some knowledge of how things played out that night.”

“Could you please tell the court your understanding of what happened the night Hannah and Beth Washington went missing?” Josh felt his heart turn to ice. He didn't know his lawyer was going to ask this. No matter how many times he heard this story, no matter how many times he went over the details, no matter what angle he looked at it from it never got any easier. It never hurt any less. He thought he might break down right then and there. His mother had already started to cry behind him.

“Objection! Your honor, relevance?” For once Josh was happy the prosecuting lawyer was there.

“Your, honor. My client invited his friends back up to this mountain on the anniversary of his sisters' disappearance. Whatever happened that night is obviously connected to this incident in some way.”

“Mr. White makes a good point. Doctor, please answer the question.” Josh's heart-rate plummeted.

“Certainly, your honor.” At least Dr. Hill was polite.

“As I understand things the three Washington children, Joshua and his two sisters Hannah and Beth had invited seven of their closest friends up to their family's Alberta ski lodge for a weekend party. Once there Joshua's best friend Christopher encouraged him to take part in a rather intense drinking game. The two of them became intoxicated and passed out for the night. Then a few of the others Jessica, Micheal, and Emily I believe thought it would be funny to play a prank on Joshua's sister Hannah. Two more Mathew and Ashley even decided to record the prank, which was unfortunate as the poor girl had started to disrobe. Hannah ran out into the woods embarrassed and distraught and her sister Beth went after her. I do believe one friend, Samantha, did try to stop the prank from happening, but she was unsuccessful. Neither of the Washington girls were heard from again. Many presumed them dead.”

Josh was crying. He was crying and he hated it. He didn't look back at his mother. She had never heard this story and now that she had he really didn't want to know what she thought about it. His friends had told the police Hannah was probably pretty upset, but they hadn't gone into the details why. Josh was angry about that, but he couldn't blame them. Looking over at them now he could see that they were also all crying. Mike and Sam were holding hands and wiping their faces with their free hands and then their clasped ones when that wasn't good enough. Matt was bent over and looked as if he might be in prayer, but from the way his shoulders shook Josh could tell he was sobbing. Ashley was clinging so tightly to Chris and buried so far into his shoulder she was almost sitting in his lap. Chris had his arms wrapped around her and one hand pushed hard against his face as if he could stop all his emotions from spilling out that way. He hated them. They didn't have the right to cry over his sisters.

“Do you think the defendant blamed his friends for what happened to his sisters?”

“He never said so. Not in so many words anyway. Maybe in passing implication here or there, but Joshua is a much more forgiving boy than most would give credit or ever expect. He blamed himself more than he did anyone else.” Dr. Hill was looking right at him. Josh knew he shouldn't, but he had to chance another look at his friends when Dr. Hill said that. There they were. Five pairs of eyes all looking at him with the same emotion shining deeply in each of them. Sympathy. It cut through their tears and every other awful emotion he knew they felt for him right now. He didn't want it. He also didn't think he had a choice in that.

“Do you think the defendant was seeking revenge on his friends, then?”

“No. I think he thought in his deranged under-medicated state that what he was doing was going to help him move on from the loss of his sisters and bring all his friends closer together.” See? This is why he liked Dr. Hill. That man understood him.

“Do you believe that the defendant meant to cause harm to any of his friends?”

“Physically? No. They will probably have a lot of emotion scars, and mental trauma from this experience but I do not believe those were intentional either.”

“Do you think the defendant would do well in the federal prison system?”

“I can't imagine that would be beneficial at all to his current mental and emotional state. I'm not sure he could even survive in a place like that for more than a few months.” Josh didn't like the way he said that. Not that he had been looking forward to a prison sentence beforehand, but his doctor just made something about it sound so final and so dreadful. It terrified him down to his core. Dr. Hill looked a lot sadder after he said it, like he didn't like that idea much either. Josh always felt like Dr. Hill really cared him, maybe even more than he did his other patients and definitely more than the man was supposed to.

“Is this your professional opinion as his psychiatrist?”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” Huh? That was weird. Did Dr. Hill just space out?

“Thank you for your time doctor.” His lawyer looked pretty satisfied, but Josh's focus remained on his old psychiatrist. He felt like the two of them were trying to have some kind of secret conversation but there was a communication problem somewhere along the line. The other lawyer was standing now.

“Doctor,” he was saying, “You are not currently treating the defendant at this time are you?”

“No, as I said before Joshua has excused himself from my services, though he knows my door is always open to him should he need anything.” That was true. Josh had three phone numbers, two calling lines and a texting one, two emails and a physical location where he could reach Dr. Hill. The man had met him twice at his office for unscheduled visits and had even given Josh an uncharged talking down from suicide over the phone in May.

“So the defendant was not seeking treatment from you in the months leading up to his attack on his friends at his parents vacation home?” Josh didn't like the way he used the word 'attack.'

“No. He was not.”

“Did he remain in contact with you in any way during this time?” Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Josh looked at his lawyer and pleaded with his eyes. 'Save him. Save Dr. Hill. Please! He doesn't deserve this. He didn't do anything. He was only trying to help me.' But his lawyer didn't understand. Of course he didn't. Because his lawyer didn't know that Dr. Hill had known about Josh's plans for his little game. No one was suppose to know about that. Except for Josh and Dr. Hill.

They were all about to find out though.

“Occasionally he would reach out to me even though he was no longer seeing me regularly. I didn't mind of course. He needed the support.” 

“And did the defendant ever make you aware of his plans for the night of February second? Perhaps through a letter or an email?”

To Josh's surprise Dr Hill didn't even look unnerved. He looked like he did when he would sit across from Josh and they shared tea. Expectant, sorry, calm and sad. He puckered his lips in thought for a moment and then sighed. He resettled himself in his chair before answering.

“He did send me a rather frightening and extensive email containing the details of what he had in mind for his friends that night. But you already knew that Mr. Jacobson. I'm sure you also have a copy of the email here with you that you would like to enter into evidence at this time as well.”

Whoa. Josh had to admit that was a little badass.

The prosecuting lawyer fumbled only slightly but he did indeed have a copy of the email and he did enter it into evidence. It didn't say much that the courthouse didn't already know. It regurgitated the same events everyone had already heard three times at this point and confirmed the things Dr. Hill had said about Josh's motives and goals. Josh did wish that he hadn't called Chris a chickenshit that thought he was at the bottom of the group totem pole now that Hannah was dead in it though; or said that he really wished he could make himself hate Emily and Jess after their lady boners for Mike killed his sisters, but they either had too much history or too many laughs together; or mentioned how much he regretted dumping Sam because honestly she was best lay he'd ever had and maybe he sort of loved her. Dr. Hill turned his somber smile back to Josh as the email was read aloud. He wished the man hadn't been so compassionate. He should have remembered that Josh was a job. Reported him to the police or his parents. The guy shouldn't have gotten close to his work. Then they wouldn't be in this mess.

“Now Dr. Hill if you were aware of the defendant's plans, why didn't you inform someone?”

“Mr. Jacobson, you are aware of something known as doctor-client confidentiality are you not? The things Joshua chooses to share are to be protected by me as his therapist. Trust takes a long time to build between myself and a patient. Breaking that bond of trust would go against the very code of a medical professional.” For a second Josh thought that was going to work. He wasn't sure why he was worried. If Dr. Hill got in trouble that might help his case. Actually that didn't make him feel better.

“Doctor-client confidentiality doesn't hold up when laws are being broken and lives are at stake.”

“I felt it was best for me to try and talk him down myself before getting anyone else involved.”

“And when that didn't work? Why didn't you contact anyone then? The police? Or his parents?”

“Joshua has always struggled with authority figures in his life. His father had also refused to come into sessions with him many times over. It was my professional opinion that involving them at that stage would only make things worse for him and his well-being must always be my most primary concern first and foremost when dealing with any situation involving Joshua.”

“And what about the well-being of his friends? Did you think about them at all?”

“Honestly, I truly did not believe he would go through with it. I suppose was wrong.” 

“No further questions, your honor.”

The disappointment in his voice had hurt. Josh knew that Dr. Hill had had faith in him. More faith than his father or any of his friends did. Josh didn't have anyone to blame but himself for letting the man down either. He couldn't pin this on anybody else, he had to shoulder it all by himself. He wanted to look back at his friends again. Only this time he felt like he didn't deserve the sympathy he knew he would find there.

The trial wasn't over yet, but Josh certainly felt guilty.

\---

He hadn't expected to run into Dr. Hill during the recess. Mostly because he wasn't allowed to wander too far away from the courtroom and he was almost always in the company of his mother or his lawyer. One was always crying and the other was always shouting. Both gave him a headache constantly. But he was allowed to use the bathroom and that's where he had run into his former therapist.

“Oh hey, Dr. Hill,” he had said when he came out of the stall and saw the older man washing his hands at the sink. The older man gave him one of those soft creepy smiles that Josh liked in the mirror as the younger man joined him to wash his own hands.

“Joshua, you look so different. How have you been feeling?” he asked. He was talking as if they hadn't just been sitting in court together less than an hour ago sharing looks as he testified in Josh's case. He was talking more like they were both at Starbucks and just happened to see each other in passing. He sounded genuinely interested though and Josh realized that was probably because he was.

“For real doc? I wanna tell you I feel like shit,” Josh said leaning on the counter. They weren't looking at each other so much as they were looking at themselves in the mirror. 

“Oh.”

“Well yeah, but I'm on trial for assault, battery and torture so I think that makes sense.”

“I suppose it would.” He dried his hands. “Are you taking you medications again?” 

“Yeah, mom practically forces 'em down my throat three times a day.” Josh said drying his own hands. They were quiet for a moment but neither of them made a move to leave.

“Dad's not talking to me and mom can't look at me without crying.” Why was he saying this? They weren't in session. Josh didn't have anybody else to talk to though and he had a lot to say.

“I'm sorry to hear that.” Josh shrugged.

“Ashley called the house twice yesterday and hung up the phone both times when I answered. Oh and Chris stopped by but he didn't stay for long. Matt also talked to me after court let out. It was weird.” Mike, Sam, Jess and Emily were all still ignoring him or choosing not to associate with him. However you wanted to put it, he hadn't had contact with them in a long time.

“Why is that do you think?”

“I don't know,” Josh shrugged again, “I can't tell if we're still friends or not.”

“Well, I'm afraid I can't answer that for you,” he said. Then he checked his watch and gave Josh that sad smile, “I need to be heading back to the office. Don't hesitate to contact me in the future, alright?”

Josh felt like he was just being polite, but he nodded anyway. Dr. Hill could go to jail because of what Josh did. There was no way he would ever work with him again after this. That was a shame because Josh thought that he would miss Dr. Hill, his mid-morning tea and the strange art he kept on his wall. Dr. Hill was gone now. That meant Josh was alone. He didn't like to be alone. He missed his sisters. He missed his friends. Not just the special ones either. He missed all of them. He missed all seven of his stupid terrible friends.

He looked away from the mirror and headed out to speak with his lawyer. He had made a decision.

\---

“What's happening now?” Sam asked after they were sitting back down in the courtroom.

“The dickhead's lawyer has something to say I guess,” Mike answered. Chris and Ashley both glared at him from the other side of the bench. Matt and Sam were grateful to be in-between the three of them.

“Shh,” Matt shushed though no was was speaking yet. The five of them were all shifting nervously. The last testimony from Josh's therapist had been quite the display and none of them had quite finished processing their feelings over it yet. Especially Sam.

Of course she wasn't sure how she was meant to process the information that Josh maybe sort of loved her. (She decided to bypass the half of the confession that focused on her being the best lover he'd ever had among which she knew there was a good number.) She felt Mike's hand in her own. She had wanted to let go of it for the first time during the trial when she had heard the words about her in Josh's email. She had thought they were close, but love was a really strong word. It was too strong. She hadn't said she loved anybody since Hannah died. She had loved Hannah. She had never fully processed how much or in what way exactly and now she wasn't sure she ever would. She wasn't sure that she could love Josh. She didn't know if she wanted to love Josh. She didn't know if she got a choice in that either.

Josh's lawyer stood up to address the court. Sam felt all of them hold their breath together again. She wondered when they would stop doing that. When the smallest thing wouldn't cause them all to feel like the earth was about to implode in on itself. Maybe never. Maybe this was just the state of their lives now.

“Your honor, members of the jury, it seems that my client has decided to plead guilty to all charges placed upon him and face any consequences that you see fit for him at this time.”

Like that a spell was broken. The five of them all looked around at each other in shock as the judge sent the jury out to consider all the evidence and hand down a verdict and then finally give a punishment to Josh. The courtroom around them was loud with commotion as people talked. Melinda was freaking out already. His lawyer looked upset with him and the prosecuting lawyer was too shocked to be happy. The five of them though continued in silence for a long time looking all around the court, at Josh, at the judge, at each other waiting for what had just happened to make sense in their minds.

“He's...he's pleading guilty..?” Matt finally asked as if to make sure he had really just seen what he saw.

“Why? I mean why?” Ashley sputtered.

“After all the shit he made us go through? After everything we had to put up with? After all of this? He's just just gonna roll over like that? What the hell, man?” Chris had started out angry, but ran out of steam quickly.

Sam looked directly at Josh as he turned around and caught her eye. He smiled at her and waved. It was silly and childish and she wasn't sure why he did it. In that moment though she felt like she understood. He was done. He didn't want to hurt them anymore. He didn't want to punish them. He couldn't keep doing this to them. Like a sacrificial lamb he was going to the slaughter so they could be free of this. So they could move on. He was letting them go.

“He can't do it,” Mike announced to all of their surprise. They each gawked at him. He rolled his eyes. “Look, I'm mad at Josh okay? Like fucking pissed at the guy. But he can't go to prison. As sick as he is he won't survive a place like that. He just won't.”

“Mike,” Sam said quietly, “I don't think there's anything that we can do.”

At that Ashley buried her face into Chris' chest. Chris held her to him and kissed the top of her head trying (and failing) to focus his energy on her tears in an attempt to stop his own. Matt bent forward with clenched hands as if he was in prayer again and Sam thought maybe this time he truly was. She and Mike each looked into the others' eyes and thought the same two thoughts at the same time. 'We have destroyed this entire family' and 'I could never have gotten through any of this without you.'

The jury had returned. Of course they had. He had pleaded guilty. There really wasn't anything to consider at this point. They declared Joshua Washington guilty of assault on seven accounts, guilty of battery on two accounts and guilty of torture on three accounts.

“Thank you.” The judge said before turning her attention to Josh, “With this in mind Mr. Washington I sentence you to 18 months incarceration with the possibility of parole to be served in the state penitentiary. Upon release you will be placed under probation and required by law to be referred to a partial or full hospitalization program until you are deemed fit to rejoin society.”

They were just all breathing a sigh of relief because the punishment was fairly lenient when the final stipulation was placed, “And any attempts before this time to make contact with the victims of your crimes will result in an extension to your sentence or re-incarceration. Case dismissed.”

The five of them all jumped to their feet at that. Josh couldn't see them? Any of them? Which meant they couldn't see him either. For 2 years probably? At least? Maybe more. They were putting Josh in handcuffs now and two men in police uniforms were leading him away. They allowed Melinda to hug him and kiss him briefly before they started dragging him off. Sam felt her heart in her throat. They were going lead Josh right by them in a minute. Oh god she couldn't handle this. She was already starting to cry.

“Guess I'll just have to catch you Porn Stars on the other side,” Josh shouted when he passed by them, “Give my love to Jess and Em okay?” He thrust his hips out when he said that because he was Josh and of course he did.

Chris laughed first and then bit his tongue because he felt like he shouldn't have. Soon though Ashley and Matt were laughing too. Mike rolled his eyes again and sighed a heavy sigh, but he was smiling. They watched him leave out the back of the courthouse feeling lighter then any of them expected to at the end of this. All except for Sam who stayed quiet until he completely disappeared from her sight. She was trying to do something she knew was impossible: imagine her life without Josh Washington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. Thanks for reading and sticking through this with me for the last two weeks. I hope some of you will check out the sequel when it comes out too.

**Author's Note:**

> I WANTED Emily and Jess in this so bad, but the story is pretty much laid out at this point and they just don't fit anywhere and it felt in character for them not to be there. :(
> 
> So it's Ashley up next...


End file.
